Injury Update: The Pinky Episode

The pinky was first broken on a broken tackle for a semi-pro French football team. I never had it set. It is permanently deformed, but perfectly functional, at least until now. I went for a steal, and managed to hook the pinky on another player's hand as he was scoring on a layup. As usual, I tried to pretend I could shake it off. The pinky started to swell. Now it is black and blue. Tried to play today but the pinky altered every shot I took. It was the first day in months that I failed to score a single bucket.

Injuries

Before my team's eighth strait loss last night, I had an interesting conversation about injuries. I complained about my chronic tendinitis, but, as it turns out, my teammates have it much worse. One guy--our best player, actually--has a phantom shoulder pain that causes him to randomly lose all sensation in his shoulder. He swears by acupuncture. Another has an Achilles heel on the verge of rupturing. He keeps playing, saying his chiropractor makes it bearable. Another swears by something called Active Release Therapy. Sounds sort of quackish. My knees are hurting so bad I can barely make it down the stairs.

The Rebirth of the Church

I'm shedding my Vanilla Thunder identity as of today. My dunking quest is over. Can't even get rim any more. I'm just me and I intend to set out a chronicle of post-prime basketball in all its infamies, ingloriousness, with detours for its small victories.

I'm feeling inspired to restart the Church of the Hardwood blog after last night's fiasco: my city league team lost by 36 points. And here's the saddest part: it was one of our better outings. My knees have passed from creaky to burny. I threw up an airball and collected four fouls. I have just written a quote from Samuel Beckett on a post-it note and put it up on my computer at work:

"Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

Dunking Quest: Day #????

It's been months since Vanilla Thunder blogged about his quest to dunk a basketball. Well, he ain't dunking no basketball. It's not happening. Ever. He doesn't even jump to get rebounds anymore. The only dunking you're doing is in your dreams, old man. Stanley Fish will dunk before Vanilla Thunder.

Coach on the Floor

Had a testy encounter with The Coach on the Floor today. Coach yelled "top" every time V.T. got post position. Excuse me Coach, but "top?" What is that? Do you mean "check it up top"?

Basketball barf

V.T. isn't ready to report on his quest to dunk a basketball for the first time since High School. There's just not much to say on that front.

A bizarre sight yesterday, on one of the many Hardwood Churches. An out-of-shape baller runs up and down the court a few times. He's calls for a time out, walks over to a garbage can, vomits, then comes back on the court as if nothing had happened.

"Balls in!" he says.

Vanilla Thunder Dunking Quest: Day 18

V.T. will bring you his quest to dunk a basketball in the form of haiku:

Old man skipping rope
Grinding knees, cracking ankles
Metal rim--how far!

V. T.'s Dunking Experiment: Day 10

Went to the court yesterday, saw a few guys shooting around. Jogged around the track a few times, getting the hammies warmed up. And then, when no one was looking, jumped. Jumped as high as possible. The knees weren't happy about it but was surprised to have a finger graze the rime. Wow. An ecstatic feeling for an aging b-ball player with one bad knee, one bad ankle and 20 pounds of extra weight. The regime is getting me there.

V.T.'s Dunking Experiment: Day Eight

Today at noon, V.T. will attempt to grab the rim. He's pretty nervous about it and hopes no one witnesses his jumping ability. He's only a week into the regime, but it's time to see how far he has to go.

V.T.'s Dunking Experiment: Day Three

Went to the gym to resume the dunking workout but left gym card at home. Ran some stairs and jumped as high as possible 60 times. 100 push ups. A few sprints around the track outside. Not getting very far off the ground. It's looking doubtful V.T. will ever get past the rim.