Rasheed Wallace is a toaster?

I'm lost.
How does Carmelo's game resemble salsa? What does Rasheed Wallace have to do with a toaster? This guy watches too much basketball on TV. The heart and soul of the game, as I've said before, is not in the league but on in the various Churches of the Hardwood. Still, got to give props to my ex-Writing Center colleague for pulling off this book.